Popcorn
by estuesday
Summary: Short shorts written for various people.  From crack to serious, with a variety of characters and pairings. For example: sand sibs, shikatemari, guykakashi, narusaku, sainaru, kankurochouji, and many, many more. Will update one a day until all are posted.
1. Temari andor Kankurou, exasperation

_Temari was pretty sure her little brother was stupid. "Eat the food," she said, shoving the spoon at his mouth._

"Wanna see," he whined, getting it smeared all over his face. Their tiniest brother, the one their dad called "Gaara," was tearing up the playroom again. Those were Temari's paper fans in there. All Kankurou had was some stupid toy dolls. Temari was being a good big sister. She was feeding her little brother and being self-sacr . . . sarci . . . she was a good big sister. So he needed to eat his food now so she could go in and rescue the remains later.

"Don't be a baby," she said, holding him down and forcing the mashed food into his face, ignoring his choked sounds and whining cries.

"And that," Kankurou told Shikamaru seriously, "Is why you can never have children."


	2. Team GaixSandsibs

Weird as it was, Temari had for some reason dropped that spiky-haired guy for the only other Konoha jounin their age. She seemed to be on a genius kick. Even weirder than that, Gaara apparently had feelings that were not homicidal rage or the urge to protect or destroy everything, and for the kid with weird eyebrows and a penchant for green spandex at that. Hadn't Gaara broken the kid's legs at one point?

Kankuro and Tenten stared at one another. What the hell, thought Kankuro. Might as well make it a matched set. "Wanna?"

Tenten considered. "Why not? I've always had a thing for boys in make-up."


	3. NarutoxSakura yuri

"So. Um. Sakurachan." Naruto's voice was softer, more pleading than usual. He sounded almost unsure of himself. "I was thinking we could, ah, do something special for our anniversary." His voice was also much . . . higher than usual. These were just her auditory observations.

Naruto had somehow gotten hold of lingerie and was wearing it. Naruto had not only gotten hold of lingerie and was wearing it, he looked better than she would have. One lacy strap hung off of his shoulder. It was disturbingly sexy. What had made Naruto think this was a good idea?

Naruto mumbled something about consulting with Ino about anniversary gifts, scratching his nose abashedly and looking entirely too cute for a twenty-three year old boy.

Sakura sighed and smiled exasperatedly. Naruto grinned back and flung himself into her arms, eager as ever. Like a puppy. Soft, warm, cute to an unfair degree.

Well, Sakura thought as she hooked a finger in his panties, at least he'd known better than to ask Jiraiya this year.


	4. LeeXGaara Winking

"Kankuro, explain something to me."

Kankuro looked up from his flirting with Tenten to his brother, who was frowning thoughtfully. "Er, yes?" Going by Gaara's expression, it had to be fairly important. Kankuro had thought that Guy's team was just passing through, but if the scroll they'd brought held something important--

"What does winking mean?"

Kankuro froze. While not of importance to Suna's safety, his own was at stake. Temari had charged him with watching over their little brother while she was gone, and part of her orders had been to make certain that "those bimbo fangirls" stayed away from him.

Before Kankuro could say, "Nothing. It doesn't mean anything. And what are you doing with those girls anyway, I thought you were talking to Lee," Tenten distracted him with a small outburst of her own. 

"Oh my God, he didn't. Tell me he didn't." She buried her face in her hands.

"What?" asked Kankuro. Gaara was watching him, still waiting for an answer, but . . .

Tenten continued muttering to herself. "He said he would, but I thought he was joking. I mean, who would actually ask out _Gaara of the Sand?_"

Kankuro stared at Gaara wide-eyed. "It means-- " that Lee apparently had a thing for redheads, "--that Temari is going to want to have another talk with you. And I'm going to go have a talk with Bowl-cut. Be right back."

He left Gaara with a still sputtering Tenten. He needed to go give the big brother, "I'll break your legs if you break his heart and he doesn't sand coffin you first" talk to Rock fucking Lee. And Temari was probably going to kill him when she got back.

Kankuro almost missed the days when Gaara was a psychopath and this dating shit wasn't a concern.


	5. ShinoxKankurou Your bugs ate my puppet

"Your bugs ate my puppet." In the light of morning, Kankuro was not amused.

"Shut up," moaned Shino, for once at a loss of composure. He buried his head under the pillows.

"No. Seriously. Your bugs. Ate. Karasu."

"They didn't eat your puppet, and it was only an arm." Shino didn't move from the pillows.

"D'you realize what I went through to get him repaired?"

Contrary to expectations, Kankuro was a morning person and did not get hang-overs. Shino was seriously considering finding a new fuck-buddy. This was just ridiculous.

"I mean, the time alone--"

"God, Kankuro," said Shino, clutching the pillows, alone in his misery, "if I'd known you were going to be such a bitch I'd have made you bottom."


	6. KankuroXChouji

People tended to forget, but nights in the desert got cold. Really cold. Your breath frosted in front of you and you could freeze to death if you went out unprotected, exposed to the elements. There was a reason for the layers of clothes Kankuro wore, and it wasn't just to keep the sun off.

As for when the clothes were off and he was sunk deep into bed, a couple of extra blankets were okay, but Kankuro thought the best way to combat it was with another warm body. Chouji was warm enough for three people, radiating enough heat that Kankuro could fore-go his usual three blankets, a combination of soft and firm that was nothing but pleasure to curl into.

Kankuro didn't cuddle, but the night was cold and Chouji warm and damn if Kankurou wasn't going to spread out to steal as much of that heat as he could for himself.


	7. ItachiNaruto  crack crack crack crack

"Dear pathetic little brother," the delayed letter read, each word like a hot, sharp knife to Sasuke's brain, "I'm taking Naruto, and not just for the tails enclosed within. I think you know what I'm implying here." The paper crumpled under his hands a little at this point. "Grow strong. Hate more. Try taking him back." Sasuke made a sound even he could admit was more growled than actual language. Suigetsu took a prudent step back. Karin took an unwise step forward. "Love, your awesome big brother."

Not for the first time, Sasuke thought, "I will _kill_ him."


End file.
